i clung to you hoping we'd both drown

by flatsound

supported by
/
  • Digital Album + Fabric Wrapped CD
    Compact Disc (CD)

    I Clung To You Hoping We'd Both Drown, now on 4 panel eco wallets. Every order comes wrapped in custom stamped fabric.

    Includes unlimited streaming of i clung to you hoping we'd both drown via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

    Sold Out

  • Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

     $7 USD  or more

     

1.
04:13
2.
03:03
3.
02:12
4.
5.
6.
03:17
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
06:00

about

i clung to you hoping we'd both drown is a concept album of sorts. it's about cats and not feeling well and my mother, it's a portion of my life. it's saying i'm sorry and i miss you. it's being too afraid to directly say i hate you. it's whatever you want it to be.

credits

released 10 March 2011

album artwork courtesy of Benjamin Kinzer. thank you to everyone who helped put this together. you're in the booklet.

feel free to email me if you have ANY problems / questions regarding your purchase.

mitch@housetomyself.com

tags

license

all rights reserved

feeds

feeds for this album, this artist

about

flatsound San Diego, California

i'm mitch, i write songs.

contact / help

Contact flatsound

Download help

Redeem download codes

Track Name: old lumina
you stand so still- you stand so still like
the pillar- the pillar you stand behind
and i have no limbs, i’m just a head in your lap
i can’t believe i let it get this bad

because all i want to do is play Sega
and touch my girlfriend in her old Lumina
i can tell by the way you talk you know everything
so tell me everything

♪ la da da ♫

would you like- would you like to give me
kisses? the pitter patter of your feet
that scream you’re mine, and that makes you weak
you’re unaccepted for everything
i like that you need me to survive
it’s cold, why don’t you come inside?

because all i want to do is play Sega
and think about the people that have hurt me
and talk like i did before you were everything
why are you everything?

all i want to do is fall asleep until the sun explodes
and everyone is forced to start over.
Track Name: we'll live
well i’m huntin’ down the rabbit holes i saw out by the lake
you told me they grow farther from the water when it rains
i met a man who promised everyone that he had changed
but there he was by the river with a rock attached to his waist
if it rains the crops will grow twice as big
if it doesn’t rain we’ll live

with an apple in my mouth i bit off more than i can chew
but wash it down with whiskey and i’m left thinking of you
when maple leaves are autumn green there’s nothing i can do
but wait for them to change into something with value
so when my leaves grow dark and old
they’ll be kept alive by the stories told
because every word has kept me warm
even when it’s as cold as this

i’m not alone / your face is as white as snow

when you said if it rains the crops will grow twice as big
if it doesn’t rain i wont give a shit
because there will be a cityscape where that pasture is
so if it doesn’t rain we’ll live.
Track Name: i'm broken but i'll try
mother - i'm calling for you mother
you've been gone for too long, why'd you go?
is this what you think it means to be responsible?
hospital - you stayed in the hospital
trying to convince the nurse to give you sedatives
you said, "i'll give anything to make this all go away"

baby love - i'm singing to you baby love
please don't tell me we're giving up
i need you to be strong for the both of us
i'm a little baby bird, being pushed out of its nest
climbing back up the trees admitting
i'm weaker than the rest
little honey pie, i'm broken but i'll try
to fix you along with me tonight
i won't stop until we're fine
Track Name: i lost control
i went to class, you didn't show up
i thought we said that we'd keep in touch
walk through town, disassembled on a crutch
just like you did when you were in love

i left the house and i didn't miss much
you opened your mouth and i lost my trust
yeah i left the house for the first time in months
for the first time in months

now here i am, disassembled as a whole
when i got home i lost control
Track Name: live up
sunshine came through every corner, peeking through the shades
it doesn’t have to fade, no nothing has to change
so i can go to sleep, finally

and i, i know nothing about the past
all i know is that it’s passed
so i can’t blame you for that
and you, you’re sleeping in my bed
and you’ve lied to me again
i can smell it on your breath

so live up to the name you’ve been making for yourself
i know it can be hell, but you need to think about your health
and you know we haven’t spoken since christmas eve
but out of the gifts under the tree
your voice was the best that i’d received
i just miss you more that i ever cared to explain
or admit to your face, before you’d gone away

you, all you left me was your blood
when you showed me what you’ve done
in a desperate search for love
and i, i know nothing about the past
all i know is that it’s passed
and it’s never coming back
so we can go to sleep, finally
Track Name: meow meow meow meow meow
last night you had that dream again, the one where you try and run from your fears but you can’t because you’re wearing fabulous stilettos. if i were the boss of you i’d make you get out of my head for good, but i’m not so when this ship sinks i’ll have the comfort of knowing i wasn’t in charge. i don't want to write a song, i want to write a will in which you get nothing from me. all i am is a kid in my mothers closet looking for an excuse to say “this doesn’t hurt, at least not anymore”. then hatred, the kind of hatred that makes a father call his own son a faggot. i wish you were dead.

there was a light in my closet, i could have sworn the sun was rising.
there was a light in my chest. don’t leave me, noah. we had a promise.

you told me the universe could help me if i just let it. i told you i made a map of our old house leading to the X on my stomach, when you cut me open you’ll find a note that says, “this is where i hurt”. i found a new way to talk to god.

you told me i was brutally murdered in a past life.
why did you say it like that? i haven’t felt the same since.

if i were the sun i’d shine my light on you and leave the people that hurt you cold. if you were a girl you’d be a whore who likes to suck dick. when i was 15 i overheard my teacher talking to a girl privately about raising her grade in history, i bet she was a pretty girl.

this message was brought to you by all the cats in my life
meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow~
Track Name: we're fighting again
we’re fighting again
we’re fighting again, more than usual
try and pretend that this is normal
but it isn’t right, the damage that we do to your body
all those scratches on your little arms are spelling
“i’m sorry about being me. a skinny less perfect oprah winfrey”

i’ll sleep on the couch, just say when
bring me a cat to be my best friend
because it isn’t like you ever said that you were committed
to the thought of me and only me when he hasn’t written you
in seven weeks. that’s when i come in
and it isn’t like you ever said that i was your hobby
i can’t believe i spent all morning trying to tell you i’m sorry
about yesterday. when you would have done the same

i grow you like my hair
cut you off when i get scared
if everyone in class stares
you don’t care, you don’t care.
Track Name: the cowardly lion doesn't write love songs
it's turning on the tv when we were fourteen
you said, "my moms asleep, we won't get caught.
what do you want to watch?"
and i could hear the traffic that i know you're ignoring
but i let it into my life to thicken to air i breathe

it was at the bus stop that a woman cried
and i could tell she was different by the look in her eyes
i don't know what she said but i felt what she meant
in her honesty
and i went to your house that night and i told you about
the woman's eyes and the words in her mouth
and how i wouldn't mind taking her advice one day
but i'm the cowardly lion

i'll leave quietly if that means
another chance to commemorate what we had
when we were happy

this isn't a love song, no not in the least
i just miss you watching my tv
when i'm writing, so i can hear you laughing
i swear to god i still hear you when i close my eyes
and you'd tell me i'm not going to die
like you used to before i did this
you're the sunlight that i wished would leave
i'm the raincloud i don't wanna be
because the more you're gone
the more i grow pale
Track Name: my heart goes bum bum bum
you said take the violin that you hang on your wall
stick it under your bed before it crumbles and falls
just dont open your eyes before counting to ten
i can hardly remember, just the smell of your hands
as they danced on my body, running over my pores
with the force of steering wheel crushing my bones
i said you smell like the devil but you feel like the lord
and when i think of perfection you know i’m thinking of your
voice when you tell me you dont call him your baby
because that was the name that you rightfully gave me
and its foolish to share with someone else
and my heart goes bum bum bum bum bum

but you admit that you’re lonely, you’re as cold as a statue
pleading ‘fuck me’ on the marble that was used to create you
i cant stand that you’re talking when you shouldn’t be living
i didn’t dodge all your bullets i just denied that they hit me
so when my body is bleeding i wont admit that this hurts
because admitting isn’t fixing so then what is it worth
so to say you’re unhappy is like saying you’re sorry
its nothing that i care to hear

so now the tears in your jeans are the holes in your armor
you’re the thoughts that i feared, you’re the mountain i’ve conquered
if i told you i loved you would you reach out and touch me
you taste like the ocean and your body’s disgusting
the only reason you breathe is to sleep through the night
the only reason you speak is to tell me i’m fine
the only reason you breathe is to sleep through the night
the only reason you speak is to state that you’re mine
and my heart goes bum bum bum bum bum
Track Name: 47 fights pt 2
tonight - will be like last night
if it wasn’t we wouldn’t be here
you said - i’d rather be dead
than live with regret / then you killed me
you left me a note that said
i wish we had just gone to bed
instead we broke the rules

all that i have left
are thoughts that tell me “this could have worked”
because we both think the best part of that whole song
was skipping ahead to nicki minaj
and i refuse to let that go
out of all the things you left behind
this photograph shows the things you like
and i will not make the same mistake twice

i woke up to find / i wasn’t alive
Track Name: spiders (interlude)
last night i had another one of those dreams, the ones where you constantly wake up only to realize you're still dreaming. i saw spiders in my sheets - the fear had woken me up. i jumped out of bed and noticed the spiders were still there biting at my feet - the fear had woken me up. i jumped out of bed, checked my sheets, checked my feet, looked my brother in the eyes and started telling him about my terrible dreams. he then fearlessly pointed at the two enormous love making spiders behind me taking up most of my wall with their screaming bodies. it sang to me in the key of guns guns guns guns guns. the fear had woken me up once more. i lied there long enough to notice an awful pain in my stomach.

if your chest was a wall i'd punch a hole through it
you're so much prettier than you mothers maiden name
her whore name, the name she embraced as a whore.
i want to watch you rot.

but i know the pain my stomach is still going to be there when i wake up, so what's the point? i'd rather go back to sleep and watch those spiders fuck.
Track Name: macie lightfoot, i'm broken
macie, macie - put your lightest foot in front of you
with your hand on my belt i did what you were gonna do
and this is the night i realize i'm broken
it makes me feel good, makes me feel pretty
so spit in my mouth and me baby

take a step outside, put your feet on the ground
you said if you left now he won't hear a sound
this is the time i'm bustin' out, i'm bustin' out
we sat on the bus in womens clothing
i said you should be in school, i should be recording
i should be recording.
Track Name: cross on my mind
i used to take the bus to the ocean
to the spot you said to meet
i walked past everyone i didn't want to see
and with the sun at its departure
and your body close to me
every word was spoken nervously
i know you never really liked people
i didn't mean to make that worse
i'd give everything i am for who you were

i've got a cross buried in my mind
swaying with the morning breeze
crucify my baby as i sleep
and i know that time is against
but we really need to speak
because i'm so sick of waking
halfway through an apology
i'm sorry for the letter
i didn't expect you to respond
i guess that's what it's like when you're gone

now i'm dying for a friday
one where i actually leave
i still know the roads that take me to your street
Track Name: the one who gave up
hi - i know i promised that we'd talk more
it's just i - i'm surprised you even want to talk at all
well you can refer to me as the one who still calls nervously
because i'm so scared that you still think
i'm the one who gave up

when i wasn't the only one who'd given up
and the plans we made we never mistakes
they just didn't work for us
so don't go pointing blame
at the ones who made you smile

you always knew
the deal that we made and what this was worth
that we'd try until the time
it stopped being fun and felt like real work

and i wasn't the only one who's feeling tired
of all the shit you gave and the dick you made me into
so i tried, i swear to god i did, but the truth is this:
us, and everything it was, just wasn't enough
Track Name: outro
/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /